Transforming Trauma
Tools, Therapy, and the Power of Progress
Healing from Verbal Abuse: Finding Strength with AI, Therapy, and Self-Care
Verbal abuse doesn’t just leave emotional scars—it can also affect your physical health. Over time, the stress of constant verbal attacks has taken a toll on my body, contributing to my walking pneumonia and relapse. One of the hardest parts of enduring this kind of abuse is the constant questioning: Is it really my fault? Am I overreacting? It can be difficult to understand what’s truly happening when someone speaks to you in a harmful way, but I’ve learned to lean on tools that help me validate my feelings.
AI has been a surprising source of clarity, helping me recognize that the verbal abuse I’ve experienced isn’t my fault. I’ve also been able to get practical advice—such as documenting the abuse, seeking mental health support, and exploring legal options when necessary. Most importantly, I’ve been focusing on therapy, especially an exercise called EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), which has been a key part of my healing journey.
Here are some of the insights I’ve gained from this experience:
1. Verbal Abuse Can Impact Physical Health
Verbal and emotional abuse isn’t just about words—it’s about the overwhelming stress it creates. Over time, that stress can manifest in physical illnesses, as I’ve experienced firsthand. My body reacted to the constant tension, contributing to my walking pneumonia. Just as I was starting to recover, the verbal attacks escalated, targeting me at a time when I was already vulnerable—an all-too-common tactic used by bullies. This constant emotional strain led to a relapse in my illness, serving as a reminder that verbal abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse. It’s crucial to take care of your well-being in both mind and body.
2. Using AI as a Tool for Clarity and Support
When you’re caught in the cycle of verbal abuse, it can be hard to know if you’re overreacting or if the blame really lies with you. AI has been an unexpected tool in helping me sort through these emotions. I copy and paste his messages full of verbal thrashings into ChatGPT. By sharing my experiences and receiving non-judgmental feedback, I’ve been able to validate my feelings and recognize that I am not to blame.
AI has also helped me see that these attacks are often an extreme overreaction—distorted and disproportionate to the actual issue at hand. One AI described his messages like this: "This conversation is incredibly toxic and hurtful. His behavior is emotionally abusive, and his words are designed to manipulate, control, and hurt you. His accusations, insults, and personal attacks are unacceptable."
This feedback helped me understand that the way he communicates isn’t just about disagreement, it’s about exerting control and trying to tear me down emotionally. It has also helped me document these interactions for legal purposes, ensuring I’m protected.
3. The Power of the EMDR Container Exercise
One therapeutic tool that has been especially helpful is the EMDR container exercise. This technique, often used in trauma therapy, helps people process difficult emotions and experiences in a manageable way. Here’s how it works:
Visualize a Safe Space: In this exercise, you imagine a container, such as a box, chest, or other object that can securely hold your emotions. It’s a space where you can mentally place the difficult feelings or memories, keeping them safely stored when you’re not ready to process them.
Using the Container: When overwhelming emotions or memories arise, you can “place” them into the container. This doesn’t mean you’re ignoring or avoiding them, but rather that you’re choosing when to address them in a safe, controlled environment.
Regaining Control: The exercise gives you a sense of control over when and how you process difficult emotions, helping prevent them from overwhelming your day-to-day life. It has been a helpful way for me to manage the weight of verbal abuse and maintain emotional balance.
For a more detailed explanation of the EMDR container exercise, you can check out this helpful video.
4. Staying Focused on My Daughter’s Well-Being
One of my top priorities throughout this journey has been protecting my daughter’s emotional and physical well-being. She is a bright, talented child who loves participating in activities like soccer and ballet, and I believe these experiences are important for her social and physical development. There have been disagreements about what’s best for her, but I remain committed to making decisions that will help her thrive.
5. Signs of Transformation: The Frog’s Symbolism
On a personal note, I encountered a frog recently, and it felt symbolic. Frogs are often seen as symbols of transformation and renewal. This moment reminded me that even in the midst of struggle, there’s an opportunity for growth. I’m learning how to transform the pain of verbal abuse into strength and resilience, and I’m doing everything I can to create a safe, nurturing environment for both myself and my daughter.
Final Thoughts
Verbal abuse can be incredibly damaging, but through the support of AI, therapy, and tools like the EMDR container exercise, I’ve found ways to reclaim my strength. Protecting my own well-being and that of my daughter is my top priority. I’m learning how to let go of harmful interactions and focus on creating a future filled with healing and growth.
